UFC on ESPN 7: Overeem vs. Rozenstruik

Stefan Struve   vs.   Ben Rothwell 


Ben Rothwell, KO/TKO R2.


This is struve in 2019, except he's not advertising lemons at the used lot--he's advertising how to get beaten like a bed-wetting orphan, and amazingly UFC seems to believe there's a market for that. I have no idea what he's  still doing in the UFC. Ben Rothwell is a big slow fat hairy ****, aye--I'll give you that,but he's still got more than enough to put away the shambolic  chinless bread stick of a man that is Struve.






Aspen Ladd   vs.   Yana Kunitskaya

Ladd, dec.

I don't know what it is, but there's something about Aspen's face that makes me think she'd not be out of place in a safety helmet, smelling of fresh poo and screaming at a balloon while trying to eat a thick shake with her hands during a children's birthday party at Mcdonalds. Can she beat Yana 'peel me banana' Kunistkaya? Probably, because Yana doesn't have real power and is pretty easy to put on her back.

Chris Fishgold   vs.   Billy Quarantillo 

Fishgold, Sub R1.

I'm not impressed with Qurantillo. Fishgold has ****** the dog a couple of times in the UFC now, but I still feel he's a much more technical, rounded fighter than Billy, who is the sort of guy who you can't believe has the kind of record he does when you see him fight. I think Fishgold drops him and pounces on his neck between 1-2.

Cody Stamann   vs.   Yadong Song 


Song, dec.


Very difficult fight to pick and I may go back and forth on it before the day of the event. Cody Stamann is a top ten fighter for about 8 minutes, before gassing. He does have strong wrestling and while his striking isn't unorthodox, varied nor difficult to read, it is nonetheless effective, he hits hard, his fundamentals are good, and he uses it well to set up entries. Song has looked great recently. He's difficult to catch and has good counters. If he can't stay up he'll lose here....but for now, I'm going to say he can, and wins on points.




Rob Font   vs.   Ricky Simón 


Rob Font. KO/TKO R2.


I'll not be picking Ricky the last poohican Simon over anyone good after getting knocked out by a semi-retired skateborder, thankyou very much ladies and gents. And Font IS a good fighter. He's never lost to anyone bad, has wins over schnell, andrade, and pettis, and would probably win an assuncao rematch. Ricky Simon has good chain wrestling, but he's small for the division and is roughly as durable as an Italian meringue. I think Font lights him up for TKO here.




Thiago Alves   vs.   Tim Means  


Alves, Dec.


Battle of the washouts. Both of these guys are like that abandoned building which has stood in your neighborhood as long as you can remember growing stalagmites of pigeon dung, occasionally serving as a squat for crackheads, that has for whatever reason never been knocked down.That stated, I do think this has the makings of an ugly but entertaining back-and-forth fight that probably goes to split. I think Alves has more will to win in him at this point. Zero confidence.




Cynthia Calvillo   vs.   Marina Rodriguez 


Rodriguez, Dec.


Now this is an interesting fight. First off and full disclosure, I do not like Cavillo. She's a mean spirited greasy little ***** who I find grating--the sort of woman who would serve you a burrito from the side of van, wrapped in a tortilla she's wiped between her butt cheeks because she caught you staring at the remnants of horchata clinging to her mustache. I like Rodriguez. She's a slow starter but she's got nasty hands, solid TDD and always goes for the kill. I think Cavillo survives but gets beaten up. I hope so, anyway. But I hope more that Rodriguez drops a knee in her face as she's dipping in and her head busts like a melon.

* Edited at 11.18.2019, 3:58 AM ET *