UFC 271: Adesanya vs. Whittaker 2

Out of all the jugheaded one-and-done jobbers the UFC has signed over from the embarrassment that is DWCS, the Cosce brothers are easily some of the worst fighters to ever be signed to the promotion. Just awful. 

Aside from having dog**** resumes, including both of them having back to back wins over professional fight diver Daniel McWilliams, their fighting styles totally suck ass. It’s like they’re both genetically aligned to both look the same and be equally ****** fighters. Between the two, I think Orion is *slightly* better, but he suffers from the same weakness his brother does having absolutely zero head movement skills, weak gas tank, and generally no heart. The moment the gameplan begins to fall apart, they both curl in a ball and throw half hearted punches like an agitated toddler punching his dad’s thigh for taking away his game boy. His boxing has the grace and technical modesty of a constipated schizophrenic simultaneously enduring the world’s cruelist hangover. I said it once and I’ll say it again, this is why having an undefeated record is more of a detriment than a blessing, cause when you do eventually lose (and YOU WILL eventually lose, unless you’re Khabib) you’ll have no idea how to mentally recover. I know his brother has not recovered from that ass beating he took from a short notice no-name ethnically ambiguous bald **** named Sasha, I doubt Orion is feeling the same.

Honestly, I struggle to comprehend how exactly Mike is going to adapt his style into MMA. He’s pretty much the closest thing to legitimately effective Drunken Fist horse**** you see in Jackie Chan movies. Has me very curious, but simultaneously concerned. He has a great corner, but so did Carlos and his debut was a ******* embarrassment. Still, Mike is much more experienced than Carlos and has a lot of kickboxing accolades under his belt, which should be enough to stump Orion’s dumb ass.

Mathetha via R1 KO

* Edited at 11.22.2021, 2:53 AM ET *

It physically pains me to say this, but…Carlos *grits teeth* will probably win this…

I don’t like Carlos. The fight with Kennedy proved he’s an idiot in the ring, and his interviews proves he’s an idiot outside the ring. “Honestly, I’m fighting for wherever the money is” Ah, I see, maybe you should have gone to…I don’t know…any other ******* promotion? Not the one where several fighters have formed unions against them SPECIFICALLY because of poor pay? As much as he annoys me however, his striking might prove too much for Cherant IF he approaches the fight intelligently this time. *IF*. 

Cherant might have the advantage on the ground, but his takedowns are poor and his striking is the martial arts equivalent of colon cancer. In fact, taking a **** ********** sounds more productive than elaborating on this bet any further. **** it, Carlos wins, I’m gonna give my hubby Davey Grant a call. 

Carlos via R2 KO

* Edited at 11.22.2021, 3:11 AM ET *