UFC Fight Night: Felder vs. Dos Anjos

Ashley Yoder   vs.   Miranda Granger
*shrugs*


Sean Shelby is literally the Macgyver season 4 of ******* awful WMMA matchmaking--except at the end of the episode he doesn't save the kid trapped in the well with a string of dental floss and a fridge magnet; he yells "Cup your hands kid--it's Ker-muhrn' derrrrrrrrn!" And then he drop his pants, backs up, ****s into the opening, then barrel-rolls away into nearby shrubbery.

Make no mistake Tap; this is going to be one of the worst fights you've ever seen. There is no hypothetical future in which this is going to be more fun than going to a strip club with your grandmother to watch your mother have peanuts tossed into her crack like a carnival clown's gape by stinky drunk yellow-toothed gingers for tips.

It's basically just a law of chemistry that adding Yoder and Granger creates ****. If they were new hues on the colour wheel, they would combine to make brown. There is nothing that could occur in the list of possibilities present in our physical universe to make this fight better than exceptionally drudgerous. You could feed a bear acid and let it into the ring in R2 and 1:20 seconds later you'd still wish you were watching something else.This is a fight that will make you wish time was killing you faster.

I don't know who wins. Flip a coin. Picking this fight is like deciding which testicle you'd prefer to find a tumor in. 

* Edited at 11.12.2020, 3:08 AM ET *

LOL Oh Goody; a character valuation and morality assessment by Freemoneyforall. A literal obese quasi-literate pothead ex-smack Junkie who posts about sticking his tongue in the anuses of prostitutes, eating entire barbecued chickens in one sitting, who also identifies as a Christian and whose only goals in life are to take photographs of his Dog's penis and become a moderator on the very fantasy MMA site he claims I'm addicted to.

Thanks, Life coach. I'll take it on board.

* Edited at 11.12.2020, 2:21 PM ET *