Tapology Poetry Corner

Welcome, lovers, dreamers, writers and romantics to the Tapology Poetry Corner! A place for poems, short stories, novels or any kind of creative writing. Just because we're hardened MMA fans, doesn't mean we don't have a softer side. Have you written a poem about Fedor Emelianenko's legendary career? A ballad about Jan Błachowicz? A fan-fic about Paige VanZant? Post it here! 

Any and all artistic writing welcome and if it's related to MMA then even better!

**** both of you for putting this ridiculous ******** of an idea into my head BTW. Now I can't stop thinking ******* quadramater. I hate myself for how easily I'm baited into these things. ****!

Anyway, Part II:



I paid to visit to the zoo
and found her sharing through the bars
some fruit with ape by name Manou-
some foul man's seed dried in her hair
shot through the window of a car
I touched the keeper on the arm:
Hey you: What is the story there?
He said he didn't see the harm:
Besides, for apples, berries, pears--

She jerks me off between the palms
and sometimes I can use a hand
and commenced signing to Manou
who playing in a pit of sand
turned and signed: I've had her too!
I wheeled, demanded: Is it true?
He nodded: 'Tis. Manou's her man.
and swinging off an iron gate
there was a juvenile ape
I asked: What of the little one?
Sir he said, that is their son!

* Edited at 02.22.2022, 7:35 PM ET *

Hey hey I was just trying to have you make fun of Fistys mother.

Well I hope you're enjoying it lol

I have also had fun with his mother as well recently, though I'm a gentleman so I won't elaborate on the details. All I will say is that I'm a little embarrassed about how quick it was. I couldn't even last 5 minutes with her, she was just on another level! Whenever I tried a new approach, she kept regaining control and dominated every second of it. In the end I had no choice but to concede and acknowledge that she was WAY more experienced than I am!

Don't let her unassuming appearance deceive you, she's a damn fine chess player!

Haiku

Womens MMA.
Every single damn card
****s my parlays hard.

* Edited at 02.25.2022, 2:57 PM ET *

@Baldric

No issue with the content, but how is 5 / 5 / 5 a haiku?!  At least have the decency to format your misogyny correctly.  A haiku is 5 / 7 / 5.

Eggling's ever punching down--
*******, brown folks, folks with Down's.
No face, no name, this coward clown.

That is an example of a haiku, in iambic pentameter. 

No it isn't.

An iamb is unstressed/stressed. EGG/ling. That's a Trochee. You aren't hearing the word as eggLING in your head, are you? Moreover you only have 4 stresses and IP has five. It also has five un-stresses and is composed of ten syllables. 

It actually isn't possible to write a Haiku in IP any more than it is possible to have wet fire. You could write an Iambic Haiku. But not in pentameter.

You know I love you Moorlady, but you're pretty autistic and ******** here.

Womens MMA (5 syllables)
Every single goddamn card (7 syllables)
****s my parlays hard ( 5 syllables).

Haikus require no meter. The rule is 5/7/5 syllables. That's it. You haven't even written a haiku. What you have written is 5/7/8. 

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt sugar.

I'll take that sandwich now, please m'lady. Trim the crusts if you will. I have generously provided you a guide:

* Edited at 02.25.2022, 4:58 PM ET *

@Bald Egg

You're quite right, it was not IP at all, but rather a gleeful dance of trochaic feet.  

****, I did count that wrong... twice.  And I am autistic.  But I quite like my little poem, and better than yours.  I'm surprised you trust me with sandwich assembly, visual aids notwithstanding.  It shows a great deal of magnanimity, of which I never would have thought you capable.  Where, on your face, would you like this sandwich?

Trochaic Heptameter. The first line anyway.

You can put that sandwich anywhere you like baby girl. I'm sure you're a better sandwich artisan than you are a poet and predictor of MMA.

That's a contest you'd win.

* Edited at 02.25.2022, 5:27 PM ET *

I'm going to feed it to you like a baby bird, and wash it down with scotch!


It is essentially trochaic.  Add a little lift here and there to get im-mortal off the ground, but Blake's Tyger knows it's worth it.

That was me, voting you down, lest anyone call me a coward, @Eggling.

Ugh, God, I hate the Romantics.

If it's your thing, I've got one for you: Christabel by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. It's about Lesbian Vampires.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43971/christabel


My favourite Poet is Anne Sexton. One of the greatest women to have ever lived and one of my literary heroes.

I like this one, especially. Greg can probably identify with it. Absolutely beautiful.It's very hard to use simple words in remarkable ways. She was a rare type of genius.



Just once I knew what life was for.
In Boston, quite suddenly, I understood;
walked there along the Charles River,
watched the lights copying themselves,
all neoned and strobe-hearted, opening
their mouths as wide as opera singers;
counted the stars, my little campaigners,
my scar daisies, and knew that I walked my love
on the night green side of it and cried
my heart to the eastbound cars and cried
my heart to the westbound cars and took
my truth across a small humped bridge
and hurried my truth, the charm of it, home
and hoarded these constants into morning
only to find them gone.

William Blake is not some sad romantic.  He is outside of his time.  Perhaps a revival in one of the metaphysical poets.

I find Sexton a bit sparing, but am happy that you find anything a woman did admirable, and can even call her one of your literary heroes!  If you want the profound in the simple, Emily ****inson might be a better woman for you.

I'd say Blake is a Proto-Romantic and would probably include him in the Romantic cannon. I am not a fan of the Romantics.

Basically unless it's Shakespeare pretty much anything outside the modernist era hold little interest to me. That includes ****inson, who is in my opinion the B-side of Mary Shelley.

Anne sexton was a Goddess and everything a woman should be.


I have gone out, a possessed witch,   
haunting the black air, braver at night;   
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch   
over the plain houses, light by light:   
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.   
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.   
I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods,   
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,   
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:   
whining, rearranging the disaligned.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,   
learning the last bright routes, survivor   
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.   
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.   
I have been her kind.

Alright, your dream woman is a Puritan, who occasionally lets her nude arms breathe.

****INSON IS NOT A ******* ROMANTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Take all away from me, but leave me Ecstasy,
And I am richer then than all my Fellow Men--
Ill it becometh me to dwell so wealthily
When at my very Door are those possessing more,
In abject poverty--"

-E. ****.
#1640

Anne Sexton was not a puritan. She is, in fact, regarded as one of the first great feminist writers. Believe me, some of her work is very filthy. You have not correctly interpreted the poem.

Emily ****inson is a Romantic, I'm afraid. I suspect you don't really know what that term means. I can tell you about the origins of Romanticism if you like and what social forces orientated the Romantic aesthetic.

* Edited at 02.25.2022, 6:25 PM ET *

Sexton can be both a puritan and a feminist.  I can see why you would call E. ****. a Romantic, in the big "R" sense, so I will let that go.  There might even be a sense in which she's the prototypical romantic.  She was so isolated from society, and so immersed in nature, that she was anything but the poseur so many of the parlor room Romantics might be accused of being.  Thank you for the kind offer, but I don't need you to explain 19th century arts and letters to me.

****inson was not a true Toff in the sense that British and German school romantics were, granted, but she was still from a very well-to-do family and I do not regard her as a working class Hero. She took her Que from them. 

Romanticism was imported to the US from Europe. It was mostly an aesthetic movement counter-reactionary in nature by old money fops who didn't like uncultured nouveau-riche dirtying up the cities with their ugly smoke-belching factories during the heady days of the industrial revolution. 

****inson lived her entire life in one house, in one town.  She lived during the U.S. civil war, and yet did not write about it.  She cared not at all about her times.  She was an acetic.  Who took her pleasures in their most elementary forms--in dewdrops, not in oceans.  To compare hers to a well-integrated Continental Romantic life is absurd.  She is smoothest scotch.  She is sipped without the merest hint of friction on the palette  And if any pain manages to register on the palette, in a way that war couldn't, and poverty couldn't, and love couldn't, and childbearing couldn't... it was because that little force that slipped all the way the through was universal to human experience.  

@Moorelady she was born in 1830. Almost everybody lived in one house and town the majority of their lives at that point. This was the rule, not the exception. Early days of Globalisation, you see. Not exactly defined by high transiency. 

She's a good writer, I am not disputing that. I don't think she's as good as Shelley.  As I have said, I am not deeply a fan of anything pre-modernity.

We all have our tastes.