Setting up the Holloway v Kattar Fight Card, Jan 16...How it SHOULD be structured. Best to worst fights...

Thoughts?


Main Card:

1. Holloway #1 v Kattar #6
2. Ponzinibbio v Li
3. Soriano v Todorovic
4. Akhmedov #13 v Breese
5. Vieira v Hernandez
6. Hawes v Imavov


Prelims:

7. Simon v Kelleher 
8. Zawada v Emeev 
9. Tafa v Felipe
10. Alves v Aguilera
11. Lentz v Grundy
12. Kilburn v Lingo

Early Prelims:

13. Pena v McMann
14. Correia v Wu
15. Moras v Melo

* Edited at 12.29.2020, 2:56 PM ET *

Also, I have been in fights, one time a kid put white out on me and was harassing me so I just got up and started punching him, when the teacher grabbed me I came back from blacking out and he was covering his head just looking at me.

My friends and I use to put on boxing gloves, and just punch the christ out of each other. Only one of us suffered a knockout in those sessions. 

My **** is 15 inches

I went to the bar and I remember the whole night, we went down in a group, played pool, beer, wings. We head back to apartment. Long story short a steroided out drunk maniac that my friend brought along sucker punched me and kicked me in the head when I was down a few times. 

Broke my orbital and cheek bone.

I can do **** push ups


Am I bad ass, guys?

Im just trying to make my damn 10%

i have it 20-18 fisty going into the 3rd

of course like most judges

10% You're a very generous promoter. Can I hop on the card too @Hideff, I believe me and @Free already have a parking lot poutine eating, MMA fighting, and farting triathelon that's supposed to happen.

Are you a coward to fight?

I the only time I've ever been in a fight is to depend myself in a pub fight, I've never gone looking for trouble.


Can you defend yourself?

To an extent. Against a fat drunk guy, yes. Against a sober pro or amateur fighter, no.


Have you ever practiced MMA?

Nope.


Have you ever competed? 

Nope.


Have you ever won?

Nope. As mentioned in the previous question, I've never competed so I've never won. By the same token, I've never lost either, I am undefeated with a record of 0-0-0.


Do you have a job that makes people better?

Nope but it pays the bills, that'll do for me.


Are you fit?

Nope.


Are you handsome?

Depends on your standards. If you consider Danny DeVito attractive then yes, I'm attractive. I'm a solid 3/10 in my humble opinion.


Do women find you attractive?

I've never asked but I doubt it.


Are you sexually active?

Do you mean with other people or inanimate objects because that will affect my answer.


Do you bring any value to the world?

Nope. ****, that hit deep.


Can you pleasure a woman?

I once told a joke that made a female colleague laugh so yes, yes I can. Oh, you mean like that. In case, no.

Stephen the questions were for my enemies in the chat -  the beavus and butt head picture and the Darren Elkins profile pic....and tieoken added himself to my list.

I would still really love to meet all 3 of you for an in person confrontation and that invitation will continue to stand.

But respect to you Stephen for showing some vulnerability in the forum...if you’re ever looking to improve yourself you can hit me up. 

I guess I’m lucky or blessed because I can honesty say yes to all the criteria I layed out. I could do more and be better myself for sure, but in an MMA ethos there are certain characteristics that take precedent and are generally respected...it’s a macho space, it’s fighting, and testosterone driven.

To all the bystanders and neutral guys here...respect, enjoy the show...I appreciate your humor 

@rkn5

Admittedly I was only answering those questions because I was board and at the moment this is the most entertaining thread on the site. In all seriousness though, I'm a big boxing fan and one of my new years resolutions was to join a local boxing gym (when they reopen after lockdown and if I still have the motivation to do so by that point) to learn how to box, probably never compete but just to use boxing as a way of staying fit and having some fun.

Rkn, bro you ain’t won **** because if you had you’d have a profile with some athletic commission somewhere. You’ve only won a contest for being the worst behaved kid on the short bus of civilization. “It’s a testosterone driven sport” Mate, the only testosterone driven thing about you is your fingers that you use to type misogyny and pop your ******* with every night. I can set you up with a promoter pretty much anywhere you are and get you an ammy fight. So just let me know if you’re about it. Maybe getting into a real scrap will teach you to respect the women who fight. Nobody on this forum has had a problem with you until you basically started vomiting circa 1400s dialogue about how women are meant to serve like it’s your wet dream that you can’t make come true. Nobody has real beef with you, you just painted a huge “kick me” sign on your back by being a beta ***** boy with mommy issues.

BOOM! ROASTED!! 

Its short notice and all but yes Tieoken I can accommodate that and get you and Fish on the card. 

Just make sure he has his shots before entering our country. no telling what bush meat he's been eating. or who's bush for that matter. 

Im a generous promoter what can I say I'm good with my 10%. 

The card is so far as follows 

Main Card
RKN5 vs Fisty and Mickey420 in a custom rules 2v1 MMA match 

Under Card
Tieoken vs Imperator Fishrat in a modified rules MMA / Poutine eating (I will reach out to greg to see if we can get this bout type added) 


Still room available for any grudge matches needing settled. Contact me directly. 
Venue: TBD
Broadcast: CamSoda .99 Cents 

@hideff I got some ideas. Give @micky420 and @fisty some weapons just to make it fair and maybe even adds @tieoken because we all know who win that fight. The Mans Mans @rkn. Have you seen the way he talk hes a badass who has all the ladys and could knock out Jesus.  And If RKN losses then he have to give up all of his women just to make it intresting

That's not a bad deal duck. I mean all those hundreds of thousands of women would be basically new considering the micropenis. I'd just want them to get screened for venereal diseases, can we work that into the contract?

I will offer my services for judging the poutine eating contest.

Being a poutine connoisseur myself, i will judge with knowledge and consistency. 

Tieoken, I 100% want an ammy MMA match. I’m in Brooklyn. 

170 lb will do. More later...make it happen

You better win Tiekon buddy. You are representing the Tapology team brother.
No pressure, but you better win!!! 

@Tieoken

You fight at Featherweight or about 145lb ish right? And @rkn5 wants it at 170lb. If this fight were to happen then the two options are for it to be a catchweight fight at 155lbs -160lbs or an open weight fight where you two just fight at your normal weights. Either way I'd say that you'd win in the 1st round, probably by submission as you looked good on the ground in the video that @DamienHandel420 provided in the UFC thread a while back (Using this one as an example as it was the most recent fight and the one that @DamienHandel420 originally provided. More can be found by typing "Austin Gowen" in YouTube. Tieoken is in the red shorts as a reminder or for those that haven't seen it).

@RKN5  I got you man. Management has this under control. Just fill out the form below. 

https://www.extremecagefightingnyc.com/forms