Farts

Location: Springdale, AR
Member Since: 2011.02.20
Predictions: 1,893 | 56.2%
Forum Posts: 179
Post Score: 81

02.14.2014 | 11:43 PM ET

So we're having a debate over what is the funniest fart type. I say it's "the lonely trumpet". My friend says it's "the Slip-pop" (when you're trying to hold it in but it *pops* out) and of course always in contention is "the sneaky squeaky". I realize this is a silly topic because context is everything and it's less about the actual fart and more about the situation which makes a fart funny, but we're debating overall which is more humorous.

"The young grow old, our pain and toys get bigger"

Nomad

Location: Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump
Member Since: 2013.04.05
Predictions: 3,465 | 66.3%
Forum Posts: 5,117
Post Score: 181

02.14.2014 | 11:45 PM ET

Obscenely loud farts in public and farts that smell strangely awful are the funniest.

"If I have a goal, then it is to escape from this literalism. I'll never achieve it; in the same way that I'll never manage to describe what really dwells within my character, although I keep on trying."

Nomad

Location: Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump
Member Since: 2013.04.05
Predictions: 3,465 | 66.3%
Forum Posts: 5,117
Post Score: 181

02.14.2014 | 11:46 PM ET

Also when people accidentally poop themselves a little trying too hard to fart.

"If I have a goal, then it is to escape from this literalism. I'll never achieve it; in the same way that I'll never manage to describe what really dwells within my character, although I keep on trying."

MQuestionable

Member Since: 2011.11.19
Predictions: 7,456 | 62.2%
Forum Posts: 1,603
Post Score: 284

02.14.2014 | 11:52 PM ET

ITT: Fart stories

I work in a kitchen as a cook. A few weeks ago, I was alone and cleaning out the bottom of one of the make lines and I farted. Immediately, a coworker came around the corner and began talking to me. Mid sentence, he leans in real close to where I'm crouched and takes several big whiffs and tells me some food must have gone bad under the line. I could not control my laughter.

On topic, I'd like to mention wet/shower farts as well.

MQuestionable

Member Since: 2011.11.19
Predictions: 7,456 | 62.2%
Forum Posts: 1,603
Post Score: 284

02.14.2014 | 11:53 PM ET

@Nomad, Ah the shart - classic!

SonnensSyringe

Location: Woodmere, NY
Member Since: 2011.03.13
Predictions: 79,138 | 62.7%
Forum Posts: 1,881
Post Score: 337

02.14.2014 | 11:54 PM ET

Farting whilst on an mma forum. Does that count?

"You look like a 1987 John Hughes high school bully." - Swickotine

Brazilian Jitz

Location: Canada
Member Since: 2011.10.08
Predictions: 3,516 | 61.3%
Forum Posts: 6,816
Post Score: 211

02.15.2014 | 12:06 AM ET

The lone trumpet is my favorite for sure.

"Albert Fish... I mean that guy was a real jerk!"

fights_like_a_girl

Location: USA
Member Since: 2014.02.01
Predictions: 1,976 | 62.6%
Forum Posts: 7
Post Score: 414

02.15.2014 | 12:13 AM ET

As a woman, I do not know the feeling of embarrassment when your peers look at you with disgust and contempt in their faces as you fail to keep in gas.

TLDR I DON'T FART. EVER.

"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. ~Roseanne Barr"

OldManGloom

Location: The Mitten
Member Since: 2011.03.19
Predictions: 109,651 | 62.5%
Forum Posts: 9,505
Post Score: 254

02.15.2014 | 12:14 AM ET

My friends and I play "The Fart Game", which has one rule: No wafting (waiving your hand back and forth to spread the wealth). You waft, you get punched. Cropdusting, AKA The Driveby, is encouraged though.

And we're all in our mid to late 30's, not sure what that says about us.

"When the system fails you you create your own system."

jodybanman

Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Member Since: 2011.09.30
Predictions: 3,332 | 61.2%
Forum Posts: 1,707
Post Score: 237

02.15.2014 | 1:08 AM ET

I've always found that when someone asks you something that you don't have an answer for, farting is an excellent way to change the subject.

"I don't want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it."

Dodgey

Location: Australia
Member Since: 2011.03.13
Predictions: 5,791 | 61.5%
Forum Posts: 674
Post Score: 271

02.15.2014 | 2:30 AM ET

I record mine on iphone and send to disgusted friends

"Just an average guy with exceptional hair, nothing more, nothing less" Kenny Powers

jerry5

Location: Springdale, AR
Member Since: 2011.02.20
Predictions: 1,893 | 56.2%
Forum Posts: 179
Post Score: 81

02.15.2014 | 11:58 AM ET

Ironically, there was a funny one at crossfit this morning. A female (fairly easy on the eyes) did a snatch grab, then sunk down into her squat and pulled off a "ripcord" fart. Of course, everyone thinks I'm the only immature one for laughing, but if you can't laugh at a fart, what can you laugh at anymore?

"The young grow old, our pain and toys get bigger"

jodybanman

Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Member Since: 2011.09.30
Predictions: 3,332 | 61.2%
Forum Posts: 1,707
Post Score: 237

02.15.2014 | 2:08 PM ET

"I don't want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it."

yossgold

Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
Member Since: 2012.07.25
Predictions: 67,515 | 62.2%
Forum Posts: 14,550
Post Score: 295

02.15.2014 | 2:20 PM ET

I have to admit, one of my small pleasures is letting one go when I'm riding alone in a lift just as I get out and then turning to see the faces of my victims that have just got in as the door closes ...

"Hay lohh you Mike, ay lov you Mike. Hyou say somesing like di fo me, and naw I say you ... I LOV YOU! See you som. Boy." -- Yoel Romero, UFC 205

C_Arnoud

Location: Porto Alegre
Member Since: 2011.10.06
Predictions: 3,914 | 63.8%
Forum Posts: 2,448
Post Score: 200

02.15.2014 | 2:32 PM ET

to me, funny farts are the ones that have just the loud noise.
if they smell bad it becomes more of an attack than something you can share with others.

gunn4206

Location: Sitting Down
Member Since: 2012.04.21
Predictions: 39,195 | 65.9%
Forum Posts: 7,834
Post Score: 249

02.15.2014 | 2:33 PM ET

I'll just leave this here ...

http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_sound_board.htm

mine resemble Champagne cork today .

"RIP Bill Burgess , RIP CthuluJones"

legacyofmisfortune

Location: Mexico
Member Since: 2011.10.13
Predictions: 14,159 | 63.5%
Forum Posts: 5,349
Post Score: 240

02.15.2014 | 2:46 PM ET

I have to say I'm the prideful owner and creator of a fart that has become to be known as the "corn fart" in three different cities (I didn't tell anyone) for it's oddly, penetrating and horrible corn smell, (and I didn't even had any). it sounded like when you are deflating a balloon and you stretch the mouth of the balloon. my brother was the victim and that made me very happy.

all farts are funny, even sex farts ;-)

"he is going to the hospital, and im going to the after party, ha ha ha" Nate Diaz

yossgold

Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
Member Since: 2012.07.25
Predictions: 67,515 | 62.2%
Forum Posts: 14,550
Post Score: 295

02.19.2014 | 6:10 AM ET

I'm not proud of the fact that these things make me laugh at the tender age of 35, but it's a sad truth I've learnt to accept about myself.

I give you Winter Olympics dubbed with farts.

* Edited at 02.19.2014, 6:11 AM ET *

"Hay lohh you Mike, ay lov you Mike. Hyou say somesing like di fo me, and naw I say you ... I LOV YOU! See you som. Boy." -- Yoel Romero, UFC 205

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