Chael Sonnen is releasing a self help book and just... LMAO

It's entitled "The voice of reason a V.I.P. pass to enlightenment" and here is a teaser Chael has wrote about it:

Presence. Tenacity. Insight. Omniscience. No need to look these words up. They are defined by yours truly. Who am I? I'm the one who needs no introduction, the walking thesaurus, the UFC's most infamous and feared destroyer of men. I am Chael P. Sonnen, and you want to be just like me.

It's your lucky day. What you are holding in your hands is nothing short of a V.I.P pass to enlightenment. In the coming pages my humor and tales of heroic adventure will baptize you in superhuman greatness. Allow me to carry you like a frail damsel as I make a nightmarish decent into the bowels of Sao Paulo. Sit before me as a student as I teach you about my plans of creating a Chaelocracy, which translates to "A Better Earth." Shower me with praise as I take you into my manly mitts like a lump of seemingly worthless clay and craft you into something far better than yourself-me.

Like all great men of myth and legend, I strive for the betterment of the human race. Prometheus brought us fire; Dana White brought us the modern day gladiator; and I bring you a step-by-step guide to being just like me. Do you have what it takes? Is there truly a chance that one day you will be able to walk in my shoes? Purchase this book and find out. There is no better day to stop being you and start trying to be me.

You're welcome civilization.

Won't be wasting my money on that.

George Carlin has a great skit about self help"If youre looking for self help why would you read a book written by someone else. Thats not self help thats HELP, there is no such thing as self help. If ya did it yourself you didnt need HELP, you did it yourself."

buying this book, for comedy purposes.

cant wait till Silva wipes the floor with him... then he might shut up at least for a day or so

I wonder what he'd say after he gets murdered.

If there's one man I wish I could be, it is Chael P Sonnen...I accept him as my savior.

Wow, he's really taking this **** a bit too far.

I think its funny but i doubt ill read it unless @anikm gives it rave reviews 

I will buy and read on same day. Dont take the book too seriously, and I'm sure itll be a funny/interesting read.

@Piercerdan why thank you. Now I HAVE to read it.

chapter 15: "Me vs Silva 2"
so there i was in a soccer stadium filled with barbarians. i step into the octagon. i look at the idiot in front of me and that ref with the dreads signals for us to fight. all of a sudden i wake up! it's the year 2212. i start drooling on myself in an effort to talk.  the doctor said 200 years ago, I had suffered the most devistating ko the world has ever seen. According to experts, if Silva had hit me any harder, his foot would have gone straight through my head. 
They have discovered how to time travel now, and as a result, I am able to send this to you all. Anderson had donated money to have me cryogenically frozen because he felt bad for nearly killing me.  There is now a monument of him erected in Brazil next to that huge statue of the bearded guy spreading out his arms, as well as another in Vegas that dwarfs the Stratosphere. Here's the only advice I'll give you in this chapter, you guys can pretty much do whatever you want because in a few years, the cure for aids will be discovered, organs will be grown, and there is no more world hunger so eat whatever you want. spoiler alert! Tim Tebow gets put in his first game as a Jet in 2012 when Sanchez gets hurt and ends up getting paralyzed...the texans win the superbowl, and LBJ6 becomes king of the world in 2012. the aztecs were also wrong. the end

Wow.

That was really painful to read.

Really?

REALLY.

Just noticed your name ... Lebron James is **** jus sayin'.

he's a good player but damn, he's got no backbone. 

Back to topic. I enjoyed Sonnen a couple like a year ago. He was funny. Now hes getting too unoriginal with his material and its just annoying. When Silva beats him AGAIN then he will NEED to shut up.  

@anik m, yes, really. i enjoyed writing it. @mike, you just noticed?  and regardless of whether you hate him, you can't honestly say he's "****". 
so more on topic, no i won't buy this book. i can write my own!

The thought of this is so obnoxious and hilarious all at the same time. Will i read it? Nah. It's just funny to me that he would do something like this.

Interesting fact of the day that completely debunks the 2012 mayan conspiracy. Leap year wasn't institued until Julius Caesar did it in 46 BC. Long after the Mayans. Had he never done this, it would be somewhere around July 2013. 

thats only about 6 months old

@theMMAmessiah i'm going to spread the word.