UFC Fight Night: Holm vs. Aldana

^LOL

Yeah, No.

@Phil it's WMMA. There's truly very few stupid picks to actually make.

You specifically said 'Borderline respectful'. I thought I had met that condition. I used no vulgarity and was simply stating a reasonable opinion.

But sure, if it's a comment on the merits of the fight you're after I can deliver that too. Anything you like.


Holly Holm   vs.   Irene Aldana 
Holm, dec.

This is objectively the worst main event fight of the year on the worst card of the year in a year that will be considered, historically, the worst and most forgettable year of fights of any year in UFC history.

Far from being simply boringly benign filler, like flour in a soup, it will serve as a kind of monument to how bad MMA can be--a fight that will be fundamentally disinteresting  to even a person who knows absolutely nothing about MMA at all and will probably give them an aversion to it for life. For example, someone need not know anything about addiction whatsoever, but if presented with a junkie squat in a deadlurk--say, a rotting mattress surrounded by spent syringes and jars of urine and feces, they know they do not want whatever that is instinctively in the same way they do not want to cuddle with a spider, a turd. 

If this fight were a hooker's phone number in an indigent sex addict's Rolodex, it would be found scrawled at the very back, crossed-through, rounded by doodled jolly rogers and vertical S shaped lines indicating the rise of a potent miasma. Phoning it would summon a sticky, sparsely-toothed woman who smells as if she has been rubbed down with a leaky tin of surstromming, who has a body like a candle melted over a bag of marbles--quite reminiscent of slimer from Ghostbusters II, nipples hairier than the joint of a Greek man's big toe and who takes payment in the form of beer and Turkey Dinosaurs.

She, like this fight, is absolutely nobody's have to have, and the clientele are similar in that they will both want to suicide during and after engagement. Expect Holm to use her grotesque, PED-induced t****zoids and pectoral muscles to initiate clinches and press Aldana against the fence, where she will proceed to knee her in the ****** for 4:30 of every round en route to a decision that will make you want to take up a different hobby. And never have children.

* Edited at 09.29.2020, 9:04 PM ET *